Things Are Heating Up

First of all I’m getting excited for the upcoming football season. NFL camps started today. Locally Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez reported to camp and the speculation is beginning on whether Tebow can steal the starting QB spot.

Next, the Yankees have the biggest lead of all the divisional races as the baseball season winds down and millions of New Yorkers will be looking for them to win another World Series for their city.

And the opening ceremonies for the London Olympics will be happening later today. I love the Olympics. Mostly obscure but very talented athletes who have spent a lifetime training get what may be their only chance to score on the world’s biggest stage.

I’m not talking about a gold medal. I mean sex in the Olympic Village. It’s like an international spring break full of the world’s most beautiful physical specimens.

Runners, swimmers, gymnasts, decathletes, heptathletes, pentathletes, weightlifters, javelin throwers, discus flingers, shot putters, basketball dunkers, beach volleyball spikers, tae kwon do kickers, table tennis top spinners. If you hadn’t heard, U.S. Soccer hottie and sometimes loose cannon Hope Solo recently made some statements that there was a lot of action going on from her previous experience in the Olympic Village. 10,000 condoms of preparedness worth of action. In some cases, people who can’t even communicate verbally rely on the language of love. Or lust. Eat your wheaties and train hard kids. Someday you too could be an Olympian, just promise you don’t end up like Bruce Jenner.

Check out the opening ceremonies. Not for the silly costumes and fireworks, although one of my favorite movie directors Danny Boyle is in charge of the festivities. Watch it for the parade of nations and get an idea of which countries you’ll be rooting for. Bonus if you’re Australian and that made you laugh.

Then when you see them compete there’s a 90 percent chance they’ll be wearing 80 percent less clothing. I’ll be keeping an eye out for the Brazilian women’s beach volleyball players and all the female pole vaulters. But that’s just me. Maybe you’re a fan of team handball or fencing. Just remember, when the agony of defeat crushes their medal dreams, don’t be too sad, they might find the thrill of victory waiting back at the village.

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