Lost in NYC

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Greetings from New York City. I’m standing here in front of an original painting of the Five Points neighborhood that shows the madness of living in New York in the early 1800’s. Things haven’t changed much since then. Sure, it’s grown bigger. More people have moved here. The traffic sucks. And the rat population has grown exponentially, but hey, isn’t that the fun of living in the big city? After all, no kid from the sticks ever says, ‘When I grow up, I’m gonna make it big in Des Moines, Iowa.”

Fuck no! If you have any sort of balls or are completely delusional, New York City is the place to be. Fortunately for me I’m stacked on both sides of that coin. So when my job pulled the rug out from under me, I thought to myself, ‘Self, you have no job, no girlfriend, no life, and really no employable skills, let’s pack up and move to NYC.’

And only a short while later I arrived in town, armed with a cheap guitar, some untrendy clothes, my dead end street smarts, and a studly body ready to be sold to the highest bidder.

Since I arrived, the Giants won the Super Bowl, and Jeremy Lin went from sleeping on a couch and almost out of the NBA to leading the Knicks from out of the toilet and into the bottom of the playoffs bracket. Yes indeed, things are looking up.

Tune in as I wander around the city on foot and ride the wrong subways, getting lost, but always stumbling into something fun and exciting. Come along as I try and get drunk, get laid, and hopefully find a job so like Jeremy Lin, I can get off my friend’s couch.

-The Unread Blogger

 

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